Such a Pretty Random Blog

Eh, I missed blogging so here is just a random one as I wait for Bridezillas to come on, then Design Star, and finally Army Wives.

The title of today’s blog is due in part to Jen Lancaster’s newest memoir Such a Pretty Fat: One Narcissist’s Quest to Discover If Her Life Makes Her Ass Look Big, or Why Pie Is Not the Answer which I finished reading today.  Thanks to my cyber pal Gridiron Goddess who introduced me to Jen’s first memoir, the popular, snarky, and laugh out loud Bitter is the New Black: Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smartass, Or, Why You Should Never Carry A Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office.  In between Bitter and Such a Pretty Fat is the snarkalicious Bright Lights, Big Ass: A Self-Indulgent, Surly, Ex-Sorority Girl’s Guide to Why it Often Sucks in the City, or Who are These Idiots and Why Do They All Live Next Door to Me?

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Reading Jen’s memoirs, you will often laugh out loud as I did Friday while reading Bright Lights, Big Ass at work, you will agree with her thoughts on life and weight loss attempts via Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig, or you will be reading about her neighbors, only to drive home and see a teenager riding his bike by sitting on his handlebars and doggedly refusing to get out of your way after working a 12 hour day.  Whooo saaaaaaaaaah.

So today’s blog will be a poem of sorts, umm not really but it will be about the word Sunday since it is written on a Sunday.

S

is for siblings as I sit here waiting for my sole sibling to place his weekly call unto me.  I missed last week’s call so I am eager to talk to him but I hope he calls before 9:00.  I would love to hear how his comedy show went last week at the Juneteenth Festival.  He’s an up and coming Christian comic.  And he’s bonafied thanks to YouTube.

U

is for the umpteen hours of TV I will watch, books I will read, and naps I will take on a Sunday.   And for the umpteenth time I want to know, why didn’t they just use a set of real twins when making The Parent Trap?  And then to do that same concept twice?  Okay, I get that the budget might have been smaller when the original was first made, but the most recent version surely had a bigger budget and the Olsen twins at their beck and call.  Yesterday they showed the original on Hallmark and now the Lindsay Lohan version is on ABC Family.

N

is for the neighbors who are seriously make me contemplate moving this year after living here for 6 years.  All of them leave trash outside their doors, but the ones next door left one newspaper outside the only door we have, the door they walk past at least 6 times a day per person, especially that youngest daughter who loves to slam the bleeping door.  The newest neighbors on my floor put the bumper sticker that belongs on their car that proclaims their child is a good student at No Child Left Behind Elementary School on their door.  They’ve had a plant outside their door for almost two months.  It’s dead.  It’s really just a pot with dirt that they keep putting water in. They also eat at McDonald’s a lot and leave that bag outside their door as well.  They seem to have a strong dislike for real trash bags and seem able to only have trash in Wal Mart bags that they leave outside for days on end.  The ones next door to them drink a lot and leave that trash outside.  I don’t even speak to none of these people.  Well I did to the dad of the No Child Left Behind Elementary School Achiever one day when he decided to hammer the bottle tops from countless bottles of Heineken purportedly for NCLBESA’s homework assisgnment outside my door.

D

is for quotes about dreams.  This week, someone cheered me up and reminded me of my focus in life by sharing with me two quotes about dreams.   “Dreams are illustrations… from the book your soul is writing about you.” ~ Marsha Norman

“To dream anything that you want to dream. That’s the beauty of the human mind. To do anything that you want to do. That is the strength of the human will. To trust yourself to test your limits. That is the courage to succeed.” ~ Bernard Edmonds

A

is for the amazing wonder that is Aldi.  For no real reason, I never shopped there until sometime in May.  I was such a novice that I didn’t even know about the shopping carts for a quarter thing.  Today I went just to get some water so no need for a bag, just the $.25 cart, but they had some dried fruit on sale so I grabbed several packs, paid 10 cents for a bag and then I might have did the next part wrong.  My cart was in the way as I tried to bag and pay at the same time.  So feeling slightly embarrassed, I left the store.   I just need them to have 2 sets of car by both doors so I don’t have to walk around the corner to return the cart and get my $.25 back.  Otherwise, Aldi rocks!  Bread for $1.19/loaf?

Y

is for me saying, “You heffas are crazy/trippping/bleeping nuts” as I watch Bridezillas.  I watched like 3 episodes last season and am currently on the third episode of the new season and I seriously shake my head at these brides with their “This is MY day/It’s all about the bride” mentality and have the nerve to want to be Big Willys when they’re broke.  I would love to do a longitudinal study (psych degree put to use) and see how many of the married couples from the past 2 seasons and the present season lasts beyond 1, 3, 5, and 10 years.  50 years from now if any of them are still married to each other, I say they receive a Nobel Peace Prize.

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3 Responses to “Such a Pretty Random Blog”

  1. Shelia Says:

    What do you think about Army Wives thus far this season? I can’t recall her name but she just started riding the bike…she’s getting on my nerves. I think she’ll probably end up having an affair.

  2. Ms. Yingling Says:

    Okay, now I have to hunt down a copy of Freshman Focus to read! Aldi’s (my favorite place!) AND news that the Randall Park Mall is gone! I was a Southern Park Mall girl myself (Worked there more than shopped) and am now a YA librarian always looking for a variety of books for my students. If you are having trouble with ideas, what I really need is books with African American characters set in suburbia instead of the inner city. I’m looking forward to reading your books!

  3. carlasarratt Says:

    Ms. Yingling, I used to teach high school in Columbus, Ohio and have seen you over at The Brown Bookshelf’s blog. There are many books of African Americans set in suburbia including Paula Chase’s Del Rio Bay series — So Not the Drama, Don’t Get It Twisted, and Who You Wit. Earlier this year I read Sherri Winston’s The Kayla Chronicles and Sherri L. Smith’s Sparrow and Hot, Sour, Salty, Sweet which revolves around a bi-racial African American character.

    Both of my books, Freshman Focus and Just Be, are available on Amazon and are set in Charlotte as well as suburban areas of Charlotte.

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